FRIDAY, 08 AUGUST 2025 FAMILY FRIDAY LACK OF GROWTH OFTEN LEADS TO A FAILED MARRIAGE Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before - Philippians 3:13 The biggest cause of divorce is not so much finances, cheating, or in-laws. It’s a lack of growth by one or both spouses. Often, two people meet and they are very happy with each other. They fall in love, set a wedding date, invite us, get married, have kids, and a few years later, they divorce. The reason for this is that, at the beginning, for where the relationship was, the two individuals were well-matched. But as time went on, and the couple started to encounter bigger and more challenging problems, they were unable to solve them because one or both of them wasn’t or weren’t developed enough. This happens all the time. That’s why when they try to analyse the problem, one of them will then say, ‘Am I not good enough for you any more?’ Or when they sit with a counsellor, one can be heard saying, ‘I just want more.’ Many marriages are stuck in a rut because of a lack of growth by either one spouse or both of them. When they were still courting, it looked like the other spouse was good at finances because there was so little to work with. But as the bills increased, and they had to now pay rent, or the bond, buy food, pay for water and lights, buy furniture, pay school fees, and the like, things went pear-shaped. Since one of both of the spouses lacked the necessary financial literacy, they ended up in debt, and strained their marriage. Perhaps the other spouse or both of them, because of excitement, found it easy to be faithful to each other, however, as they grew used to each other, they started to drift apart and because of a lack of spiritual growth in the area of self-control, adultery set in. Perhaps in the beginning, in-laws were not a problem since they were still courting, but because of a lack of leaving and cleaving, one or both spouses allowed their family too much access to the couple and caused division. These are just the three main examples. Sometimes one spouse has a growth mindset and the other has a fixed mindset. People with a growth mindset are driven by self-improvement; they’re always growing. Those with a fixed mindset are content with who and where they are in life and never invest in personal development to improve themselves. When the two mindsets get married, one is likely to leave the other behind. He or she will outgrow their spouse and feel, ‘I just want more, but you offer so little.’ And the other will feel, ‘Now that you’ve achieved X, I’m not good enough for you anymore.’ Either the spouse with a growth mindset then limits himself or herself, or the spouse with the fixed mindset changes. Otherwise, the couple will grow apart and eventually live separate lives. Spouses with a growth mindset add more value to the relationship and the family. Their spouse and children are always better off because of the constant development they bring to the party. Spouses with a fixed mindset create a boring and predictable marriage that will stagnate and die. They add very little value and don’t contribute much to the relationship. When their spouse is with them, they feel they’re not growing, they feel stuck, and they feel frustrated because they keep dealing with the same problem over and over again. It’s time to grow. You were perhaps great in the beginning, but time has since passed, and now you must grow to level up with where you are in life. Glory to God! CONFESSION I forget those things that are behind, and I am constantly pursuing growth and personal development for me to add value to my marriage and family. Glory to God! https://www.facebook.com/100068613729631/posts/pfbid0pdXwTLdkE1Ccfe6qm7jpNsriYebUgFU6PDitjgLqQJfbSTehZEcotxNKEaQGsqJel/