Good morning everyone. Grace and peace be with you.
Today is going to be a difficult day. We are going down to my father-in-law’s to help with his care. His condition has gotten progressively worse. I am sure that the door is closing, and he is frightened. His temper is shorter. His balance is off. His need, not want, need for help is over the top.
This morning as I grabbed my first cup of coffee, sat down to write, and opened up my computer, all I could do is type out the into line of Good morning and Grace be … My mind was blank. A complete and utter void or any potential topic. So, I texted my prayer group about the situation and then focused in on the release of my new book. After I completed the book task, I loaded up the leftovers that I knew we would not get to today into the dog’s bowl (who was very excited) and took her out to her play pen. When I placed the laundry in the washer, it came to me … the topic of today’s post.
When the child becomes the parent.
To be perfectly honest, I am not sure who is more terrified: the parent in need of the child’s assistance in all areas or the child who now sees their hero in a much weaker and more dependent state.
As children, we look up to our parents for guidance, safety, reliability, stability, life lessons, and security from illness and harm. They are our heroes in street clothes. They are our teachers. Our doctors. Our litigators. Our judges. Our comforters. Our everything.
I know that when my mom got sick in 2016, the woman I knew to be the strongest woman to walk this earth … looked frail, weak, and lost. I had to be the grown-up. I had to be her advocate. I had to be her guide. I had to be her comforter. I had to be her litigator. I had to take the parent’s role for her protection. That very concept, to this day, even though I have done it once, terrifies me. Not because it is beyond my capabilities, but to see your parent(s) in a less than strong state of being means that your quality time with them is coming to an end.
As kids, we see them only in one light. The light of our existence and strength. When we watch them deteriorate over the course of aging or disease, it tears at our heart and soul. When my mom was sick and in the hospital, I remained my very much sarcastic and direct self. A nurse pulled me out of the room one day and told me that I should be ‘nicer’ to my mom. I explained very clearly that if I change who I am for her and become the token child, she will know that she is sick. However, if I remain true to me, she will know that she is okay. When I was not in the presence of my mother, but in my car in the presence of God, that is where I allowed myself to
‘feel’ my fright.
In my life I have witnessed death far too many times if you ask me. I found my 5-month-old daughter gone in her bed. I watched my mother-in-law take her last breath. I watched my favorite pet fight and gasp for air as cancer riddled his body. I am sure that this will not be the last of my encounters.
Today’s post is this … death is a part of life. Role reversal is a part of life. They are difficult. They are trying. But they are not impossible to bear … when you utilize the tools that He has provided you with. Starting with His comforting arms around you every step of the way.
If you are in such a situation, lean inward to Him and allow him to hold you close as he carries you through this tough time. It will not be easy, but it will be manageable. Trust me, I am living proof.
Be blessed today my friends.
***a time to be born and a time to die.
*a time to weep and a time to laugh
*a time to mourn and a time to dance—Ecclesiastes 3:2,4
Today is going to be a difficult day. We are going down to my father-in-law’s to help with his care. His condition has gotten progressively worse. I am sure that the door is closing, and he is frightened. His temper is shorter. His balance is off. His need, not want, need for help is over the top.
This morning as I grabbed my first cup of coffee, sat down to write, and opened up my computer, all I could do is type out the into line of Good morning and Grace be … My mind was blank. A complete and utter void or any potential topic. So, I texted my prayer group about the situation and then focused in on the release of my new book. After I completed the book task, I loaded up the leftovers that I knew we would not get to today into the dog’s bowl (who was very excited) and took her out to her play pen. When I placed the laundry in the washer, it came to me … the topic of today’s post.
When the child becomes the parent.
To be perfectly honest, I am not sure who is more terrified: the parent in need of the child’s assistance in all areas or the child who now sees their hero in a much weaker and more dependent state.
As children, we look up to our parents for guidance, safety, reliability, stability, life lessons, and security from illness and harm. They are our heroes in street clothes. They are our teachers. Our doctors. Our litigators. Our judges. Our comforters. Our everything.
I know that when my mom got sick in 2016, the woman I knew to be the strongest woman to walk this earth … looked frail, weak, and lost. I had to be the grown-up. I had to be her advocate. I had to be her guide. I had to be her comforter. I had to be her litigator. I had to take the parent’s role for her protection. That very concept, to this day, even though I have done it once, terrifies me. Not because it is beyond my capabilities, but to see your parent(s) in a less than strong state of being means that your quality time with them is coming to an end.
As kids, we see them only in one light. The light of our existence and strength. When we watch them deteriorate over the course of aging or disease, it tears at our heart and soul. When my mom was sick and in the hospital, I remained my very much sarcastic and direct self. A nurse pulled me out of the room one day and told me that I should be ‘nicer’ to my mom. I explained very clearly that if I change who I am for her and become the token child, she will know that she is sick. However, if I remain true to me, she will know that she is okay. When I was not in the presence of my mother, but in my car in the presence of God, that is where I allowed myself to
‘feel’ my fright.
In my life I have witnessed death far too many times if you ask me. I found my 5-month-old daughter gone in her bed. I watched my mother-in-law take her last breath. I watched my favorite pet fight and gasp for air as cancer riddled his body. I am sure that this will not be the last of my encounters.
Today’s post is this … death is a part of life. Role reversal is a part of life. They are difficult. They are trying. But they are not impossible to bear … when you utilize the tools that He has provided you with. Starting with His comforting arms around you every step of the way.
If you are in such a situation, lean inward to Him and allow him to hold you close as he carries you through this tough time. It will not be easy, but it will be manageable. Trust me, I am living proof.
Be blessed today my friends.
***a time to be born and a time to die.
*a time to weep and a time to laugh
*a time to mourn and a time to dance—Ecclesiastes 3:2,4
Good morning everyone. Grace and peace be with you.
Today is going to be a difficult day. We are going down to my father-in-law’s to help with his care. His condition has gotten progressively worse. I am sure that the door is closing, and he is frightened. His temper is shorter. His balance is off. His need, not want, need for help is over the top.
This morning as I grabbed my first cup of coffee, sat down to write, and opened up my computer, all I could do is type out the into line of Good morning and Grace be … My mind was blank. A complete and utter void or any potential topic. So, I texted my prayer group about the situation and then focused in on the release of my new book. After I completed the book task, I loaded up the leftovers that I knew we would not get to today into the dog’s bowl (who was very excited) and took her out to her play pen. When I placed the laundry in the washer, it came to me … the topic of today’s post.
When the child becomes the parent.
To be perfectly honest, I am not sure who is more terrified: the parent in need of the child’s assistance in all areas or the child who now sees their hero in a much weaker and more dependent state.
As children, we look up to our parents for guidance, safety, reliability, stability, life lessons, and security from illness and harm. They are our heroes in street clothes. They are our teachers. Our doctors. Our litigators. Our judges. Our comforters. Our everything.
I know that when my mom got sick in 2016, the woman I knew to be the strongest woman to walk this earth … looked frail, weak, and lost. I had to be the grown-up. I had to be her advocate. I had to be her guide. I had to be her comforter. I had to be her litigator. I had to take the parent’s role for her protection. That very concept, to this day, even though I have done it once, terrifies me. Not because it is beyond my capabilities, but to see your parent(s) in a less than strong state of being means that your quality time with them is coming to an end.
As kids, we see them only in one light. The light of our existence and strength. When we watch them deteriorate over the course of aging or disease, it tears at our heart and soul. When my mom was sick and in the hospital, I remained my very much sarcastic and direct self. A nurse pulled me out of the room one day and told me that I should be ‘nicer’ to my mom. I explained very clearly that if I change who I am for her and become the token child, she will know that she is sick. However, if I remain true to me, she will know that she is okay. When I was not in the presence of my mother, but in my car in the presence of God, that is where I allowed myself to
‘feel’ my fright.
In my life I have witnessed death far too many times if you ask me. I found my 5-month-old daughter gone in her bed. I watched my mother-in-law take her last breath. I watched my favorite pet fight and gasp for air as cancer riddled his body. I am sure that this will not be the last of my encounters.
Today’s post is this … death is a part of life. Role reversal is a part of life. They are difficult. They are trying. But they are not impossible to bear … when you utilize the tools that He has provided you with. Starting with His comforting arms around you every step of the way.
If you are in such a situation, lean inward to Him and allow him to hold you close as he carries you through this tough time. It will not be easy, but it will be manageable. Trust me, I am living proof.
Be blessed today my friends.
***a time to be born and a time to die.
*a time to weep and a time to laugh
*a time to mourn and a time to dance—Ecclesiastes 3:2,4
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