JAMES 1
13 Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:
14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
DOWNHILL IN THE USA
I was involved in website ministry and through a mutual friend, I was introduced by a so called lady pastor.
This should of been a red flag, but I was entranced by this lady, she had me listening to preachers like Rodney Howard Browne, Joyce Meyer etc, I was being led astray.
This was 2004 and mum was getting worse, she was suffering from Alzheimer's.
Now let me honest, I blame no one but myself, I thought of nothing but myself and I was led AWAY BY MY OWN GREED AND SELFISHNESS.
So in late 2004, I left my mum and set out to America and stupidly married this woman, she was not to this day, a true pastor, a woman who followed the prosperity preachers, who smoked fifty cigarettes a day, who slept with three dogs on her bed, who had a son whose son was violent and the other son, who had a girlfriend who had a crack addiction.
I do not wish to dwell on this period of my life to much, this should act as a warning to anyone, who wants to depart from the true and holy will of God.
The cost to me was totally awful, I never saw my mother again, I lost the respect of my family, I left my church and nearly lost my faith.
Thankfully I was able to leave this situation, many will say, that this is wrong, but this was an abusive and violent marriage.
I was able to travel across the USA and to my brother's home in Canada, there I stayed for four months, until I returned to the UK.
On his land, he had many acres, I was able to restore my relationship with him and his wife and most importantly with the Lord.
This is a time, I bitterly regret, and thankfully the Lord has completely restored me.
Devotional thought
Being outside of God's will is the worst place to be, you need to right in the middle of Gods will, anywhere else you are at the mercy of the devil.
As you read my story, you see a pattern, my disobedience and rebellion and God's grace. This is something I am deeply ashamed of, I write this as a warning.
God is very patient with all of us, we do not deserve his grace and mercy, all of us and me most of all, have made dumb decisions that have cost us fellowship with family, friends and most importantly God.
The time in America was a sobering time, God preserved me, I am grateful that he did and that restoration was complete.
Please if you are reading this, don't wander from God's ways, doing that nearly cost me my life.
CHAPTER 14
SURPRISED BY HELEN
Psalm 18:30
As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.
I returned to the UK in July 2007, with my tail between my legs, I managed to get a room in a house not far from Heysham church, they had a new Pastor and one who is my mentor, dear Pastor Mark.
The first Sunday I went back, I did not go into the service, I stayed outside, people looked at me and their eyes said "told you so", indeed some verbalised their thoughts, to be honest, I deserved it.
So again, I was here, seeking to find a job, but at least I was settled spiritually, after three years I managed to get a small flat of my own in central Morecambe, it was very small, indeed the kitchen was the smallest on the planet.
It wasn't really suitable, my family had suggested that I went on the sick due to depression, but this was not a good option and one I shouldn't have taken, I wanted to work, I went to job club, wrote applications, went to interviews, but refusal after refusal, made me more discouraged...why?
In 2011, my spiritual life was on a high, I had such sweet fellowship with the Lord, hour after hour was spent with the Lord, it was such a sweet time, the Lord spoke very clearly.
I was able to write, people liked the devotions, indeed that summer I had an internet relationship with a lady, who ended up just wanting money, I was fed up.
"Lord I want no more relationships and certainly not an internet one".
The Lord was waiting for me to say this, now he had carte blanche so to speak, he had a clean page, at least Keith had got out the way.
In early summer of 2011, I decided to change an old Hotmail account to Gmail, after all it's better and anyway, I had 10 people on Hotmail, there was this email with a few people's names on them, I wrote saying that I was closing the Hotmail account, I gave them my free Our church free website, and the next day I saw that the site had hits for Nanjing China, wow, it's reached China, great I thought.
In my inbox, there was an email from a lady in China, thanks for your website, we have the same belief, she said, oh great, a Chinese friend.
So we started emailing each other, I found out, she was a schoolteacher called Helen (my favourite name) and had a teenage daughter, in one of her first emails, she thought I was a sister, maybe that is why she contacted me!
She went on holiday with her parents and daughter and I didn't hear from her for a while, but she did contact me again, this time, she wanted to talk on skype, so we could see each other, if you don't get skype, I won't talk to you again (I hadn't downloaded skype, but I soon did).
Anyway, we talked online, she was nice, we both liked to chat to each other, her daughter was a little shy in those days, and all I saw of her was a hand waving.
During the autumn, we were becoming closer and closer, I found a real connection to her, we started to pray together, she started to call me, despite the time difference.
We started sending each other letters, these letters were and are very precious to us, things were accelerating quickly, but could this be the one for me, after all Helen is in China and I'm in Morecambe, I had just managed to get a static caravan, now I was furnishing it, I had a sofa bed, put in a new boiler, fridge etc, surely not.
God had his hand on us, and in the next chapter, we will see how he activated his plan.
Devotional thought
We want to control things, me especially. I have tried to find a Christian wife for years, after all everyone else is getting married and why not me?
Sometimes we need to get out of the way, God is very patient, he waited for me to give up and then he gave me Helen.
I had already tried to do it my way and fallen flat on my face, now I had got out of the way, God could work.
In China, many Christian parents get very nervous if their children get to 25 and are not married, so many Christian parents try to take matters into their own hands.
As many parents have only one child, having grandchildren is seen as a real status symbol, but sometimes they do not do it in God's way.
Christian, you need to get out of the way. Only when you give God control of your situation, especially regarding marriage.
It is very difficult if everyone is getting married in your church and not you, but God's timing is perfect and his choice is best.
I am so happy that he gave me his wonderful gift of the best wife in the world, coupled with a beautiful daughter and son.
13 Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:
14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
DOWNHILL IN THE USA
I was involved in website ministry and through a mutual friend, I was introduced by a so called lady pastor.
This should of been a red flag, but I was entranced by this lady, she had me listening to preachers like Rodney Howard Browne, Joyce Meyer etc, I was being led astray.
This was 2004 and mum was getting worse, she was suffering from Alzheimer's.
Now let me honest, I blame no one but myself, I thought of nothing but myself and I was led AWAY BY MY OWN GREED AND SELFISHNESS.
So in late 2004, I left my mum and set out to America and stupidly married this woman, she was not to this day, a true pastor, a woman who followed the prosperity preachers, who smoked fifty cigarettes a day, who slept with three dogs on her bed, who had a son whose son was violent and the other son, who had a girlfriend who had a crack addiction.
I do not wish to dwell on this period of my life to much, this should act as a warning to anyone, who wants to depart from the true and holy will of God.
The cost to me was totally awful, I never saw my mother again, I lost the respect of my family, I left my church and nearly lost my faith.
Thankfully I was able to leave this situation, many will say, that this is wrong, but this was an abusive and violent marriage.
I was able to travel across the USA and to my brother's home in Canada, there I stayed for four months, until I returned to the UK.
On his land, he had many acres, I was able to restore my relationship with him and his wife and most importantly with the Lord.
This is a time, I bitterly regret, and thankfully the Lord has completely restored me.
Devotional thought
Being outside of God's will is the worst place to be, you need to right in the middle of Gods will, anywhere else you are at the mercy of the devil.
As you read my story, you see a pattern, my disobedience and rebellion and God's grace. This is something I am deeply ashamed of, I write this as a warning.
God is very patient with all of us, we do not deserve his grace and mercy, all of us and me most of all, have made dumb decisions that have cost us fellowship with family, friends and most importantly God.
The time in America was a sobering time, God preserved me, I am grateful that he did and that restoration was complete.
Please if you are reading this, don't wander from God's ways, doing that nearly cost me my life.
CHAPTER 14
SURPRISED BY HELEN
Psalm 18:30
As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.
I returned to the UK in July 2007, with my tail between my legs, I managed to get a room in a house not far from Heysham church, they had a new Pastor and one who is my mentor, dear Pastor Mark.
The first Sunday I went back, I did not go into the service, I stayed outside, people looked at me and their eyes said "told you so", indeed some verbalised their thoughts, to be honest, I deserved it.
So again, I was here, seeking to find a job, but at least I was settled spiritually, after three years I managed to get a small flat of my own in central Morecambe, it was very small, indeed the kitchen was the smallest on the planet.
It wasn't really suitable, my family had suggested that I went on the sick due to depression, but this was not a good option and one I shouldn't have taken, I wanted to work, I went to job club, wrote applications, went to interviews, but refusal after refusal, made me more discouraged...why?
In 2011, my spiritual life was on a high, I had such sweet fellowship with the Lord, hour after hour was spent with the Lord, it was such a sweet time, the Lord spoke very clearly.
I was able to write, people liked the devotions, indeed that summer I had an internet relationship with a lady, who ended up just wanting money, I was fed up.
"Lord I want no more relationships and certainly not an internet one".
The Lord was waiting for me to say this, now he had carte blanche so to speak, he had a clean page, at least Keith had got out the way.
In early summer of 2011, I decided to change an old Hotmail account to Gmail, after all it's better and anyway, I had 10 people on Hotmail, there was this email with a few people's names on them, I wrote saying that I was closing the Hotmail account, I gave them my free Our church free website, and the next day I saw that the site had hits for Nanjing China, wow, it's reached China, great I thought.
In my inbox, there was an email from a lady in China, thanks for your website, we have the same belief, she said, oh great, a Chinese friend.
So we started emailing each other, I found out, she was a schoolteacher called Helen (my favourite name) and had a teenage daughter, in one of her first emails, she thought I was a sister, maybe that is why she contacted me!
She went on holiday with her parents and daughter and I didn't hear from her for a while, but she did contact me again, this time, she wanted to talk on skype, so we could see each other, if you don't get skype, I won't talk to you again (I hadn't downloaded skype, but I soon did).
Anyway, we talked online, she was nice, we both liked to chat to each other, her daughter was a little shy in those days, and all I saw of her was a hand waving.
During the autumn, we were becoming closer and closer, I found a real connection to her, we started to pray together, she started to call me, despite the time difference.
We started sending each other letters, these letters were and are very precious to us, things were accelerating quickly, but could this be the one for me, after all Helen is in China and I'm in Morecambe, I had just managed to get a static caravan, now I was furnishing it, I had a sofa bed, put in a new boiler, fridge etc, surely not.
God had his hand on us, and in the next chapter, we will see how he activated his plan.
Devotional thought
We want to control things, me especially. I have tried to find a Christian wife for years, after all everyone else is getting married and why not me?
Sometimes we need to get out of the way, God is very patient, he waited for me to give up and then he gave me Helen.
I had already tried to do it my way and fallen flat on my face, now I had got out of the way, God could work.
In China, many Christian parents get very nervous if their children get to 25 and are not married, so many Christian parents try to take matters into their own hands.
As many parents have only one child, having grandchildren is seen as a real status symbol, but sometimes they do not do it in God's way.
Christian, you need to get out of the way. Only when you give God control of your situation, especially regarding marriage.
It is very difficult if everyone is getting married in your church and not you, but God's timing is perfect and his choice is best.
I am so happy that he gave me his wonderful gift of the best wife in the world, coupled with a beautiful daughter and son.
JAMES 1
13 Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:
14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
DOWNHILL IN THE USA
I was involved in website ministry and through a mutual friend, I was introduced by a so called lady pastor.
This should of been a red flag, but I was entranced by this lady, she had me listening to preachers like Rodney Howard Browne, Joyce Meyer etc, I was being led astray.
This was 2004 and mum was getting worse, she was suffering from Alzheimer's.
Now let me honest, I blame no one but myself, I thought of nothing but myself and I was led AWAY BY MY OWN GREED AND SELFISHNESS.
So in late 2004, I left my mum and set out to America and stupidly married this woman, she was not to this day, a true pastor, a woman who followed the prosperity preachers, who smoked fifty cigarettes a day, who slept with three dogs on her bed, who had a son whose son was violent and the other son, who had a girlfriend who had a crack addiction.
I do not wish to dwell on this period of my life to much, this should act as a warning to anyone, who wants to depart from the true and holy will of God.
The cost to me was totally awful, I never saw my mother again, I lost the respect of my family, I left my church and nearly lost my faith.
Thankfully I was able to leave this situation, many will say, that this is wrong, but this was an abusive and violent marriage.
I was able to travel across the USA and to my brother's home in Canada, there I stayed for four months, until I returned to the UK.
On his land, he had many acres, I was able to restore my relationship with him and his wife and most importantly with the Lord.
This is a time, I bitterly regret, and thankfully the Lord has completely restored me.
Devotional thought
Being outside of God's will is the worst place to be, you need to right in the middle of Gods will, anywhere else you are at the mercy of the devil.
As you read my story, you see a pattern, my disobedience and rebellion and God's grace. This is something I am deeply ashamed of, I write this as a warning.
God is very patient with all of us, we do not deserve his grace and mercy, all of us and me most of all, have made dumb decisions that have cost us fellowship with family, friends and most importantly God.
The time in America was a sobering time, God preserved me, I am grateful that he did and that restoration was complete.
Please if you are reading this, don't wander from God's ways, doing that nearly cost me my life.
CHAPTER 14
SURPRISED BY HELEN
Psalm 18:30
As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.
I returned to the UK in July 2007, with my tail between my legs, I managed to get a room in a house not far from Heysham church, they had a new Pastor and one who is my mentor, dear Pastor Mark.
The first Sunday I went back, I did not go into the service, I stayed outside, people looked at me and their eyes said "told you so", indeed some verbalised their thoughts, to be honest, I deserved it.
So again, I was here, seeking to find a job, but at least I was settled spiritually, after three years I managed to get a small flat of my own in central Morecambe, it was very small, indeed the kitchen was the smallest on the planet.
It wasn't really suitable, my family had suggested that I went on the sick due to depression, but this was not a good option and one I shouldn't have taken, I wanted to work, I went to job club, wrote applications, went to interviews, but refusal after refusal, made me more discouraged...why?
In 2011, my spiritual life was on a high, I had such sweet fellowship with the Lord, hour after hour was spent with the Lord, it was such a sweet time, the Lord spoke very clearly.
I was able to write, people liked the devotions, indeed that summer I had an internet relationship with a lady, who ended up just wanting money, I was fed up.
"Lord I want no more relationships and certainly not an internet one".
The Lord was waiting for me to say this, now he had carte blanche so to speak, he had a clean page, at least Keith had got out the way.
In early summer of 2011, I decided to change an old Hotmail account to Gmail, after all it's better and anyway, I had 10 people on Hotmail, there was this email with a few people's names on them, I wrote saying that I was closing the Hotmail account, I gave them my free Our church free website, and the next day I saw that the site had hits for Nanjing China, wow, it's reached China, great I thought.
In my inbox, there was an email from a lady in China, thanks for your website, we have the same belief, she said, oh great, a Chinese friend.
So we started emailing each other, I found out, she was a schoolteacher called Helen (my favourite name) and had a teenage daughter, in one of her first emails, she thought I was a sister, maybe that is why she contacted me!
She went on holiday with her parents and daughter and I didn't hear from her for a while, but she did contact me again, this time, she wanted to talk on skype, so we could see each other, if you don't get skype, I won't talk to you again (I hadn't downloaded skype, but I soon did).
Anyway, we talked online, she was nice, we both liked to chat to each other, her daughter was a little shy in those days, and all I saw of her was a hand waving.
During the autumn, we were becoming closer and closer, I found a real connection to her, we started to pray together, she started to call me, despite the time difference.
We started sending each other letters, these letters were and are very precious to us, things were accelerating quickly, but could this be the one for me, after all Helen is in China and I'm in Morecambe, I had just managed to get a static caravan, now I was furnishing it, I had a sofa bed, put in a new boiler, fridge etc, surely not.
God had his hand on us, and in the next chapter, we will see how he activated his plan.
Devotional thought
We want to control things, me especially. I have tried to find a Christian wife for years, after all everyone else is getting married and why not me?
Sometimes we need to get out of the way, God is very patient, he waited for me to give up and then he gave me Helen.
I had already tried to do it my way and fallen flat on my face, now I had got out of the way, God could work.
In China, many Christian parents get very nervous if their children get to 25 and are not married, so many Christian parents try to take matters into their own hands.
As many parents have only one child, having grandchildren is seen as a real status symbol, but sometimes they do not do it in God's way.
Christian, you need to get out of the way. Only when you give God control of your situation, especially regarding marriage.
It is very difficult if everyone is getting married in your church and not you, but God's timing is perfect and his choice is best.
I am so happy that he gave me his wonderful gift of the best wife in the world, coupled with a beautiful daughter and son.
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