Father God Jehovah,...

I don’t even know how to pray right now, but I’m talking to You anyway because I don’t know where else to put this.

I feel really disappointed in You.

I feel like You’re distant, like You’re not stepping in when people are suffering, when I am suffering, when the world is hurting in ways that don’t make sense to me.

I’ve prayed and prayed. I’ve hoped. I’ve believed.

And still there are things that hurt so deeply I don’t understand how You could let them happen.

Right now it feels like You don’t care at all. Or that You’re so silent.

Or that You’re not acting when it matters most.

I don’t like admitting that, but it’s what’s in me.

If You are there, then I need You to meet me in this place—not after I fix my thoughts, not after I get my faith together, but right here in the confusion, anger, and disappointment.

Because I don’t feel strong in faith right now.

I feel worn down.

If You are real, don’t let me drift away in this.

Don’t let me become very cold and completely shut down inside.

I don’t know how to believe the way I used to, but I don’t want to lose everything either.

I need You to show me something real.

Not just words.

Not just silence.

If You care, then help me see it in a way I can actually hold onto.

If You’re still here with me, don’t leave me in this darkness alone.

This is the most I can muster up inside me.
Because I feel like quitting soon.

In Jesus name.
Amen.

This is the last Christian message last prayer I'm sharing with you or anyone else.

I'm done with it.