HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ABSOLUTELY SURE YOU WERE correct about something?
Your mind appeared to have a store of facts and details to prove you were right—but you ended up being wrong. What did you do? Did you admit your error, or did you keep pushing and trying to find a way to defend your position?
In the past, when my husband and I were watching a movie or television show, we often argued over which actors and actresses were portraying the characters. It seemed to me that Dave thought Henry Fonda played half the characters in movies.
“Oh, look,” he’d say as we watched a movie on television. “Henry Fonda is in this movie.”
“That’s not Henry Fonda,” I’d answer back, and we’d start arguing and bickering. Both of us were so intent on being right that we would insist on staying up much later than we should, just so we could see the credits roll at the end. Then one of us could say, “I told you so!”
Why do we want so desperately to be right about things? Why is it so difficult to be wrong? Why is it so important for us to “win” in a disagreement?
For years I felt bad about who I was, and in order to feel any confidence at all, I had to be right all the time. So I would argue and go to great extremes to prove it. Someone was always challenging me, and I lived in frustration as I tried to convince everyone that I knew what I was talking about.
Pride wants desperately to look good, to look intelligent, to be admired—even to ourselves.
It wasn’t until my identity became rooted and grounded in Christ that I began to experience freedom in this area. Now I know that my worth and value do not come from appearing right to others. They are found in the fact that Jesus loved me enough to die for me and bring me into a personal relationship with Him.
Why did I have to be right? Because my pride was at stake. Pride wants desperately to look good, to look intelligent, to be admired—even to
ourselves. So much so that, as Obadiah 3 tells us, “The pride of your heart has deceived you.” Pride can deceive us and make us think we are right when we are actually wrong.
Pride wants desperately to please the flesh—at any cost. The flesh, if not under the control of the Holy Spirit, does all in its power to have its own way: “Give me what I want, when I want it, the way I want it, and do it now!” This is the cry of all of us, apart from the Spirit of God.
Pride cannot lead us into victory. There is no hope of peace without a willingness to humble ourselves. The Word of God teaches that pride leads us into destruction. “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit
before a fall” (Prov. 16:18).
Pride seeks to tear the other down in order to
build itself up. When we have pride in our hearts, our words often become judgmental and divisive, causing all sorts of dissatisfaction and problems in our relationships.Words are containers for power. But they can carry either creative or destructive power. They carry the power of God or the power of Satan. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger” (Prov.
15:1), and “A gentle tongue [with its healing power] is a tree of life” (v. 4).
A soft answer brings peace into the midst of turmoil. A gentle tongue has healing power.
James warns us about the power of the tongue to cause hurt and division:
“And the tongue is a fire. [The tongue is a] world of wickedness set among our members, contaminating and depraving the whole body and setting on fire the wheel of birth (the cycle of man’s nature), being itself ignited by
hell (Gehenna)” (James 3:6).
Wrong words or words spoken at the wrong time can certainly start a fire, particularly when they are words of judgment, criticism, gossip, and talebearing. Judgment says, “You are defective, but I am not.”
An example of the destruction caused by arrogance and judgment can be
found in Luke 18:10–14:
“Two men went up into the temple [enclosure] to pray, the one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee took his stand ostentatiously and began to pray thus before and with himself: God, I thank You that I am not
like the rest of men—extortioners (robbers), swindlers [unrighteous in heart and life], adulterers—or even like this tax collector here. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I gain.
“But the tax collector, [merely] standing at a distance, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but kept striking his breast, saying, O God, be favorable (be gracious, be merciful) to me, the especially wicked sinner that I am!
“I tell you, this man went down to his home justified (forgiven and made upright and in right standing with God), rather than the other man; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.”Notice that pride will even follow us into the prayer closet. We tell ourselves that we are praying about someone else’s faults, but we may actually be operating out of a critical and judgmental spirit, which Jesus condemns.
But before our pride causes us to point a judgmental finger at the Pharisee in this parable, let me ask you a question. Aren’t we sometimes guilty of the same when it comes to discussing the Bible? One person thinks one thing, and another believes something else. We tell each other, “Your interpretation is wrong.” We each keep pushing our points and trying to convince the other. Soon words are said that can’t be taken back, and relationships are damaged.
A while ago we hired three new employees at Joyce Meyer Ministries, all very young and in need of some years to grow up in the Lord. Soon after they began, I received reports that other employees in their department sensed conflict and division among the three new employees as a result of their debates on various portions of the Bible. Dave and I talked with the three employees, and, happily, they received our correction. The door of debate was closed, and the strife ceased.
Judgmental arguments that arise about Scripture are the result of spiritual pride. This is the most disgusting kind of pride to the Lord.
So be on your guard, as Satan loves it when Christians are divisive. Paul wrote to the Christians at Ephesus, “We are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere” (Eph. 6:12).
If we want to defeat Satan and enjoy trouble-free relationships, we will exchange pride for humility, keep our mouths shut, and follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit.
- Joyce Meyer (Conflict Free Living)
Your mind appeared to have a store of facts and details to prove you were right—but you ended up being wrong. What did you do? Did you admit your error, or did you keep pushing and trying to find a way to defend your position?
In the past, when my husband and I were watching a movie or television show, we often argued over which actors and actresses were portraying the characters. It seemed to me that Dave thought Henry Fonda played half the characters in movies.
“Oh, look,” he’d say as we watched a movie on television. “Henry Fonda is in this movie.”
“That’s not Henry Fonda,” I’d answer back, and we’d start arguing and bickering. Both of us were so intent on being right that we would insist on staying up much later than we should, just so we could see the credits roll at the end. Then one of us could say, “I told you so!”
Why do we want so desperately to be right about things? Why is it so difficult to be wrong? Why is it so important for us to “win” in a disagreement?
For years I felt bad about who I was, and in order to feel any confidence at all, I had to be right all the time. So I would argue and go to great extremes to prove it. Someone was always challenging me, and I lived in frustration as I tried to convince everyone that I knew what I was talking about.
Pride wants desperately to look good, to look intelligent, to be admired—even to ourselves.
It wasn’t until my identity became rooted and grounded in Christ that I began to experience freedom in this area. Now I know that my worth and value do not come from appearing right to others. They are found in the fact that Jesus loved me enough to die for me and bring me into a personal relationship with Him.
Why did I have to be right? Because my pride was at stake. Pride wants desperately to look good, to look intelligent, to be admired—even to
ourselves. So much so that, as Obadiah 3 tells us, “The pride of your heart has deceived you.” Pride can deceive us and make us think we are right when we are actually wrong.
Pride wants desperately to please the flesh—at any cost. The flesh, if not under the control of the Holy Spirit, does all in its power to have its own way: “Give me what I want, when I want it, the way I want it, and do it now!” This is the cry of all of us, apart from the Spirit of God.
Pride cannot lead us into victory. There is no hope of peace without a willingness to humble ourselves. The Word of God teaches that pride leads us into destruction. “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit
before a fall” (Prov. 16:18).
Pride seeks to tear the other down in order to
build itself up. When we have pride in our hearts, our words often become judgmental and divisive, causing all sorts of dissatisfaction and problems in our relationships.Words are containers for power. But they can carry either creative or destructive power. They carry the power of God or the power of Satan. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger” (Prov.
15:1), and “A gentle tongue [with its healing power] is a tree of life” (v. 4).
A soft answer brings peace into the midst of turmoil. A gentle tongue has healing power.
James warns us about the power of the tongue to cause hurt and division:
“And the tongue is a fire. [The tongue is a] world of wickedness set among our members, contaminating and depraving the whole body and setting on fire the wheel of birth (the cycle of man’s nature), being itself ignited by
hell (Gehenna)” (James 3:6).
Wrong words or words spoken at the wrong time can certainly start a fire, particularly when they are words of judgment, criticism, gossip, and talebearing. Judgment says, “You are defective, but I am not.”
An example of the destruction caused by arrogance and judgment can be
found in Luke 18:10–14:
“Two men went up into the temple [enclosure] to pray, the one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee took his stand ostentatiously and began to pray thus before and with himself: God, I thank You that I am not
like the rest of men—extortioners (robbers), swindlers [unrighteous in heart and life], adulterers—or even like this tax collector here. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I gain.
“But the tax collector, [merely] standing at a distance, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but kept striking his breast, saying, O God, be favorable (be gracious, be merciful) to me, the especially wicked sinner that I am!
“I tell you, this man went down to his home justified (forgiven and made upright and in right standing with God), rather than the other man; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.”Notice that pride will even follow us into the prayer closet. We tell ourselves that we are praying about someone else’s faults, but we may actually be operating out of a critical and judgmental spirit, which Jesus condemns.
But before our pride causes us to point a judgmental finger at the Pharisee in this parable, let me ask you a question. Aren’t we sometimes guilty of the same when it comes to discussing the Bible? One person thinks one thing, and another believes something else. We tell each other, “Your interpretation is wrong.” We each keep pushing our points and trying to convince the other. Soon words are said that can’t be taken back, and relationships are damaged.
A while ago we hired three new employees at Joyce Meyer Ministries, all very young and in need of some years to grow up in the Lord. Soon after they began, I received reports that other employees in their department sensed conflict and division among the three new employees as a result of their debates on various portions of the Bible. Dave and I talked with the three employees, and, happily, they received our correction. The door of debate was closed, and the strife ceased.
Judgmental arguments that arise about Scripture are the result of spiritual pride. This is the most disgusting kind of pride to the Lord.
So be on your guard, as Satan loves it when Christians are divisive. Paul wrote to the Christians at Ephesus, “We are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere” (Eph. 6:12).
If we want to defeat Satan and enjoy trouble-free relationships, we will exchange pride for humility, keep our mouths shut, and follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit.
- Joyce Meyer (Conflict Free Living)
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ABSOLUTELY SURE YOU WERE correct about something?
Your mind appeared to have a store of facts and details to prove you were right—but you ended up being wrong. What did you do? Did you admit your error, or did you keep pushing and trying to find a way to defend your position?
In the past, when my husband and I were watching a movie or television show, we often argued over which actors and actresses were portraying the characters. It seemed to me that Dave thought Henry Fonda played half the characters in movies.
“Oh, look,” he’d say as we watched a movie on television. “Henry Fonda is in this movie.”
“That’s not Henry Fonda,” I’d answer back, and we’d start arguing and bickering. Both of us were so intent on being right that we would insist on staying up much later than we should, just so we could see the credits roll at the end. Then one of us could say, “I told you so!”
Why do we want so desperately to be right about things? Why is it so difficult to be wrong? Why is it so important for us to “win” in a disagreement?
For years I felt bad about who I was, and in order to feel any confidence at all, I had to be right all the time. So I would argue and go to great extremes to prove it. Someone was always challenging me, and I lived in frustration as I tried to convince everyone that I knew what I was talking about.
Pride wants desperately to look good, to look intelligent, to be admired—even to ourselves.
It wasn’t until my identity became rooted and grounded in Christ that I began to experience freedom in this area. Now I know that my worth and value do not come from appearing right to others. They are found in the fact that Jesus loved me enough to die for me and bring me into a personal relationship with Him.
Why did I have to be right? Because my pride was at stake. Pride wants desperately to look good, to look intelligent, to be admired—even to
ourselves. So much so that, as Obadiah 3 tells us, “The pride of your heart has deceived you.” Pride can deceive us and make us think we are right when we are actually wrong.
Pride wants desperately to please the flesh—at any cost. The flesh, if not under the control of the Holy Spirit, does all in its power to have its own way: “Give me what I want, when I want it, the way I want it, and do it now!” This is the cry of all of us, apart from the Spirit of God.
Pride cannot lead us into victory. There is no hope of peace without a willingness to humble ourselves. The Word of God teaches that pride leads us into destruction. “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit
before a fall” (Prov. 16:18).
Pride seeks to tear the other down in order to
build itself up. When we have pride in our hearts, our words often become judgmental and divisive, causing all sorts of dissatisfaction and problems in our relationships.Words are containers for power. But they can carry either creative or destructive power. They carry the power of God or the power of Satan. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger” (Prov.
15:1), and “A gentle tongue [with its healing power] is a tree of life” (v. 4).
A soft answer brings peace into the midst of turmoil. A gentle tongue has healing power.
James warns us about the power of the tongue to cause hurt and division:
“And the tongue is a fire. [The tongue is a] world of wickedness set among our members, contaminating and depraving the whole body and setting on fire the wheel of birth (the cycle of man’s nature), being itself ignited by
hell (Gehenna)” (James 3:6).
Wrong words or words spoken at the wrong time can certainly start a fire, particularly when they are words of judgment, criticism, gossip, and talebearing. Judgment says, “You are defective, but I am not.”
An example of the destruction caused by arrogance and judgment can be
found in Luke 18:10–14:
“Two men went up into the temple [enclosure] to pray, the one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee took his stand ostentatiously and began to pray thus before and with himself: God, I thank You that I am not
like the rest of men—extortioners (robbers), swindlers [unrighteous in heart and life], adulterers—or even like this tax collector here. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I gain.
“But the tax collector, [merely] standing at a distance, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but kept striking his breast, saying, O God, be favorable (be gracious, be merciful) to me, the especially wicked sinner that I am!
“I tell you, this man went down to his home justified (forgiven and made upright and in right standing with God), rather than the other man; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.”Notice that pride will even follow us into the prayer closet. We tell ourselves that we are praying about someone else’s faults, but we may actually be operating out of a critical and judgmental spirit, which Jesus condemns.
But before our pride causes us to point a judgmental finger at the Pharisee in this parable, let me ask you a question. Aren’t we sometimes guilty of the same when it comes to discussing the Bible? One person thinks one thing, and another believes something else. We tell each other, “Your interpretation is wrong.” We each keep pushing our points and trying to convince the other. Soon words are said that can’t be taken back, and relationships are damaged.
A while ago we hired three new employees at Joyce Meyer Ministries, all very young and in need of some years to grow up in the Lord. Soon after they began, I received reports that other employees in their department sensed conflict and division among the three new employees as a result of their debates on various portions of the Bible. Dave and I talked with the three employees, and, happily, they received our correction. The door of debate was closed, and the strife ceased.
Judgmental arguments that arise about Scripture are the result of spiritual pride. This is the most disgusting kind of pride to the Lord.
So be on your guard, as Satan loves it when Christians are divisive. Paul wrote to the Christians at Ephesus, “We are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere” (Eph. 6:12).
If we want to defeat Satan and enjoy trouble-free relationships, we will exchange pride for humility, keep our mouths shut, and follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit.
- Joyce Meyer (Conflict Free Living)
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