𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐄𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡, 𝐋𝐨𝐫𝐝

There was a time I thought having more would always be better.

More talent.
More recognition.
More abilities.
More opportunities.
More success.

I thought if God gave me all the gifts I prayed for, I would finally feel complete. I thought being “𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡” meant becoming someone impressive in the eyes of people.

But as I grew older, I realized something frightening about the human heart…
Sometimes, when we become too full of ourselves, we slowly leave less room for God.

And sometimes, when life breaks us too much, we struggle to even recognize His voice anymore.

So lately, my prayer has changed.

Instead of asking God to make me the greatest, I started asking Him for something softer… something safer.

“𝐋𝐨𝐫𝐝, 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡.”

Just enough talent that I can serve You well,
but not too much that I begin worshipping myself instead of You.

Just enough skill that I can be useful for Your purpose,
but not so much that I forget where every good thing came from.

Because I know how easy it is for the human heart to become proud.
How easy it is to start depending on our own strength once things are going well.

And honestly, I don’t ever want to become so successful that I no longer feel my need for God.

But at the same time…

Lord, don’t let me become so empty, so hopeless, and so weak that I can no longer move. Don’t let me feel so useless that I think I have nothing to offer You.

Give me enough strength to keep going.
Enough light to keep serving.
Enough hope to keep believing that You can still use someone like me.

And Lord, if one day my heart becomes too attached to the things I have—my abilities, achievements, recognition, or comfort—then humble me again.

𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.

Break the pride.
Break the self-sufficiency.
Break the parts of me that slowly drift away from You.

But please…
break me gently.

Don’t break me so much that I completely lose myself in the pain.
Don’t let the storms become so heavy that my heart forgets how to hope.

Correct me, but stay close to me.
Humble me, but hold me together.
Teach me, but remind me that I am still loved while learning.

Because I am realizing that a life fully dependent on God is far more beautiful than a life that looks perfect without Him.

I do not want to shine so brightly for the world that I stop kneeling before God in private.

I just want to be enough in the right way.

Enough for God to use.
Enough for God to mold.
Enough for God to trust with blessings.
Enough to remain humble.
Enough to stay close to Him.

Not too full of pride.
Not too crushed by pain.

Just enough to keep needing Him every single day.

“Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread.” — Proverbs 30:8