In 1923 I was a young man. I had six fellow-workers who were also young in age. I frequently had arguments with one of them. We each had our temperament and particular idiosyncrasy. I said he was wrong, and he said I was wrong. Every Friday we had our co-workers’ meeting. The two of us often quarrelled. The other five would sit there listening to our wrangles. I acknowledged that I sometimes was wrong, but I believe he made more mistakes than I did. It was easy to confess my own fault, but it was hard to forgive another’s fault. On Saturdays I usually visited Miss Barber, carrying my accusation to her. I told her that my fellow-worker was so wrong in this and other matters that she should admonish him. Then she would say to me, ‘He is five years older than you are. You should listen to him, because the scripture says, “ye younger, be subject unto the elder” (1 Peter 5.5)’. “I asked her whether I must be subject to him with or without reason. This, I had said to myself, I could never do. Christians should be reasonable. Yet she would not listen to me, but merely insisted on what the Scriptures said. I was very angry within. Why should the Scriptures say such a thing! I dared not lose my temper before her. On most Saturdays I would go to her and accuse that fellow-worker who was older than I. But she always would answer the same way—that the younger should be subject to the older. She said it again and again. I was dying with frustration. “On one particular Friday afternoon I had battled with that older brother most fiercely. In the evening I returned to my room and cried. (I can laugh now; but at that time I rarely laughed, though I frequently lost my temper.) I thought that by going once more to my spiritual sister I could receive some sympathy from her and at last get her to avenge me. Who would have thought that I would get absolutely no sympathy from her but would be strongly chastened by her instead! I deeply regretted that I had been born five years later than that older brother. “Yet once more we two brothers quarrelled. This time I regarded him as totally unreasonable. I was sure now that I would be vindicated. So I went again to sister Barber to accuse my older brother. I asked her whether I should still be subject to one who had committed such gross error. She answered, ‘Right or wrong is an altogether different question. Let me ask you, Today you accuse your brother before me with such an attitude; are you like one who bears the cross? Do you have the spirit of the Lamb?’ After all these many years I still cannot forget the questions she put to me that day. The duration of the contention between the older brother and me was about a year and a half in length. As I even now recall it, I today feel that that was the most precious time of learning in my life. I praise the Lord, for His ways are higher than our ways. During this one-and-a-half years, I came to know what bearing the cross meant. Today we have more than fifty co-workers in China.∗ Had I not learned the lesson in those one-and-a-half years, I today would not be able to work with anybody. During those eighteen months I had no opportunity to voice my opinion and see it vindicated. I returned time and again to my room to weep. I suffered greatly. But as I think back upon it all this day, those eighteen months were indeed most precious. God knew I was a difficult person. So He arranged a special environment by which to smooth off all my sharp corners. Thank and praise the Lord, His grace carried me through. Today I would like to say to my younger fellow-workers: If you are unable to stand the grinding of the cross, you are useless in the Lord’s hand. Only the spirit of the Lamb, gentle and meek, is approved of the Lord. Your ambition and ability are useless to Him. In walking this way your attitude should constantly be, I will not reason with people but will instead be willing to bear the cross. In the Church, bearing the cross, not reasoning, is the law. -📕 A Biography of Watchman Nee - JESUS SAVES TV