Why Do We Despair?
If we have confidence in the love of God the Father, revealed in Jesus Christ, confirmed by His death on the cross, guaranteed by His resurrection, and given to us by the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5), then why do we despair? What is the cause of despair within us?
Firstly: Pride, which makes us think that the new life within us is from ourselves—that we created it through prayer, asceticism, and good conduct. When we fall, we see the throne we built for ourselves with one of its legs broken and shaken... Because we falsely believe that our new life is from us, we fall into the pit of pride. Thus, anyone whose soul is so precious and dear to them that it becomes more important than the Lord Himself will find the pains of despair and the depth of its pit much deeper and more profound. The higher a person values themselves in their own eyes, the stronger the fall and descent into despair. Thus, despair is proportional to pride.
Secondly: Despair is a sign of lack of repentance; because the one who has repented knows they are a sinner. This is not a new or sudden realization but a permanent knowledge. What is new about knowing you are a sinner? What is extraordinary about realizing you are nothing... and that the great, false edifice built on the illusions and delusions of pride has collapsed and crumbled with a single touch?
The third reason for despair is our fear of death. I have spoken much about this hidden ailment and ancient sickness—the fear of death—a disease that drives us to seek a life other than the true life from God. This ancient ailment pushes us toward our old life, as if the intelligence, knowledge, and wisdom within us are the source of our life. The Lord said with His divine mouth: "How hard it is for those who trust in riches to enter the kingdom of God!" Thus, with reliance on wealth, pride—the mother of all evils—appears, along with its bitter fruit, "the fear of death," and with it all other sins.
Therefore, let us stand firm. And if we fall into the pit of despair, let us ask for the strength of the Living One who rose from the dead to give us "the hope of the humble."

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