Today has been a powerful evening, that was full of immense prayer, intense love, and gentle peace amongst the whole congregation. To think that the enemy ACTIVELY tried to take me out. Not only did the enemy fail, but great blessings fell upon me. I am in peace, I am provided for, and I give all of it to God in thanks. It really makes me wonder, how the night would have gone if I let the enemy win?.... doesn't matter. God won.

The absolute truth!

A bit of an overwealming morning so far, pedal to the metal as soon as I wake, but at least. it is raining.

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Slow to anger. Very important, so when someone is being mean to you, it is critical to take a breath, and to be quick to forgive. When someone feels fear over someones anger, it means they take them as a threat. He is a brother in Christ, not a threat. Begone enemy, and let me look at my brother in a new light. He is acting that way because he hurts. And I beleive that I know why. I struggle to know what he is going through, but the logic is very tense. Its very difficult for me to be able to rationalize. It is important for me to know that there is an importance to what I can do. I need to take a step back. The next 3 days are going to be special for that. Possibly 4 by technicality. I just need to breathe, to focus on joy, and not let the joy be ripped away from me. I am just trying to help, and the way they feel may be harsh, but I know that it has logic as well. I need to breathe. I need to function. And frankly, taking a breath is what I need. Listen to the sounds. Just take a breath. Forget about it all. Let the tension go. let it drain away. slow down.....nice and easy.

Had a disturbing dream last night, and woke up ill. I saw maggots crawling under my skin, and squirming strings of what seemed like crabs coming out of my throat..,.. But I already interpreted. Power in words. Let me learn lord what words can have meaning. Please let me learn from you God the power of what words can apply joy. Let my stomach issues please settle as I gently prepare for tomorrow, a trip that has already been attempted to be stopped by the enemy multiple times. The question is, is that I do admit I do need to take a breather, a rest, and recovery, but it would break the heart of my pastor, who went as far as spending hundreds of dollars to make sure that I go. So God, please pave the way and recover me so I can go, so I can join you. So I can talk with you, pray with you, be with you. Let me recover please so I can better do your will, and enjoy the smiles and the laughter. God I look for you, I beg for you. Please God, pave the way. And please. Above all, please hold me close and let me know you are there. The last several days have been pedal to the metal, I have to allow myself to know that I can rest. I need to rest in you.

https://www.tiktok.com/@divine_nc_godson/video/7458144620829035781

I feel it is critical that we show love and support. Because, that is all they are seeking. They are seeking acceptance (Jesus), they are seeking love (God's Word) and they are actively running around lost in front of us. (Opportunity!) Let us help the lost! In the end, it has nothing to do with weather it is a pride fest or not. We are Christians need to step into the opportunity of showing what God is about, and God will protect us! But we need to show love to him. I know that as soon as I take a stand, that the church will reject me instantly. It is a guarantee. But even if I fall for what God is instructing me to Do, then God is still going to win. Regardless if Brandon steps in or not, but why do I feel the pull to help them? Yes, I know what they are doing is against the Bible, but we don't yell at those that are allowing other problems.... some far greater than a joyful parade.... We are barking up the wrong tree, and we need to show love. Does that mean support what they are doing and let them run amok? Of course not. But let's take this opportunity we have, to flip them on their heads. They think we are going to rush in and storm the castle, but when we instead gently open their hands, it is much better that way to show that the church is not the ones that are evil. The church isn't the ones they are after. 1 John 4:16: "So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him" John 13:34-35: “I give you a new command: Love each other. You must love each other as I have loved you. All people will know that you are my followers if you love each other.” The story of the Good Samaritan also shows that we are to love who is set in front of us! Time and time again the Bible proves this, and yet we reject them until they go in the shadows deeper. We think we win by shutting them down, but no we push them further into the darkness. We don't realize this. So we shut them down, thinking we get extra brownie points from God, for "doing good" when in fact, we are rejecting what Christ has ordered us. Degrading and waging war against our own people does nothing but make the enemy dance. So tomorrow, I will go to city hall. I will show in the face of evil at its highest, where people clash and hate arises, I will choose Christ amongst all! Christ's word does have many scriptures against them, but it does not give us the excuse to hate! Matthew 5 proves this deeply, discussing seeking revenge, ignoring the neighbor in need, and failing to seek Justice. But we misinterpret this scripture thinking WE are the ones who need to seek Justice, but the battle is the Lords 2 Chronicles 20:15 ESV And he said, “Listen, all Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem and King Jehoshaphat: Thus says the Lord to you, ‘Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God's. The battle belongs to HIM NOT US. We are called to love. So let us take the opportunity this year to flip everything on its head. To show love in the face of our adversary, and most of all, seek him, and show God that fighting against his children, profits nothing. .....

When somebody exposes their sin, especially to the world, it is important that we use love back, not war. Everyone is in their own part of the journey, and sometimes that trial may be destructive....this does not give us the authority to hate, put down, and raise war against the people. It instead is an opportunity to show love when nobody else is, to show them that there IS someone to accept them, and that name is the name of Jesus. How do you think people are going to see Jesus if we go out there and put them down, and talk about how much of a "monster" they are and degrading them. Your bringing Satan attention by doing that. Keep focus on the Lord, and remember the battle belongs to the Lord. They are his child as much as we are his. So instead of us raging fists, and putting people down so much that they go deeper and darker places just to perform it, lets bring them out to the light, and show them the love that they are blind to. Let us show them the joy that they seek, and as for those confused or manipulated, lets GENTLY pray against it, rather than trying to storm the castle. The enemy flourishes in attention, and even if it happens or not, at the end of the day, nobody is going to get "converted" by that. It is just a gathering of people in a specific part of a journey of finding what love is. And they just haven't found that they are accepted yet. My brothers and sisters in Christ, do you not see such a brilliant opportunity that awaits? What if instead of rushing in, yelling at them, and causing a scene where they go into a dark other place of doing it, why have we not taken the time yet to say "hey, let me volunteer. Let me help them stay hydrated. Let me take this opportunity to talk to others who are broken. Let me take this time, to show them that yes, Christians are friendly. We are not their enemy. What if we showed them that we can be loving individuals, (While not being part of the sin itself, but rather, to help them!) Scenerio one: We rush into the courthouse, scream and yell. A civic center takes them in, and armed guards are everywhere. Overall its a risk, its tense, and it becomes unlawful and if not dangerous and or deadly. They feel like they have to hide, they close off, and things get more dangerous, more desperate. More intense. More problems in schools, or in other locations because they dont have a safe place to do it. It puts many at risk. Scenerio Two: We help them get involved, get them in a nice safe area, help out the security, help them have their fun for a day, pray over the stuff as we work, and for people we walk by. Talk to people and be a friend. Even though they sin, we are there for them, we are talking to them, sharing, and blowing them away. They see the church shirts, and they feel accepted, and go to visit those friends because 99.99999% of churches dont allow for that. Next thing you know, they are giving their life to Christ and crying out for Jesus, and realize they found what they are looking for. See the difference? So Am I SUPPORTING the sin? Of course not, but the battle is the Lords! Also, in the end of the day, I have to remember that I once was an Otokonoko, and because of love and kindness in Christ, was I able to set that life aside, and look to helping the homeless, and help pray for people who are feeling empty of Christ. It was because of others being friendly to me that I was able to see the real representation of what God was all about. My life dramatically changed because of that day. So what choice will you make?

I find it interesting that as soon as I enter a major intense trial, which requires a lot of meditation on his word, that suddenly there is a lot of time in nature that comes out of the blue at the same time. God has a way of setting that up that really surprises me, because it confirms the need for his beautiful creation. I may be tired, but Lord, you still surprise me with joy and laughter! Thank you for being such an incredible Father!

Intense night tonight at service, ready to go home, to take a breath. Sometimes tears may fall, but still wouldn't trade it for the world. Because the tears are of love. I pretend I will be ready God, but in the last days, you will stand, and I will have to answer to you. Until then I obey how I can, even if it hurts.

Saw a person at our food bank event, seemed normal, but I introduced myself, because it looked like she seemed deep in thought, and turns out she was just in thanks! Had a 2% chance to live and recently got a kidney and liver transplant. 2% became 0% and she flatlined 3 times...... now jumping for joy in front of me, praising God about every detail of the world! Her words before she went to surgery? "Okay God, now its just you and me"

Almost immediately went to tears when hearing the beginning of this song. Absolutely straight to the soul. So thankful I didn't go back to bed this morning, otherwise I would have never heard it.

My grandmother got saved from a fire tonight: Full #Testimony below! Tonight after working at church, went home, thinking it was another normal night. Prepare for tomorrows service, take a breath, and start planning the many tasks which laid out before me. I knew the only way it could be done is if God helped me. I was ILL PREPARED for how fast God was going to step in. During service, I have my phone on silent, so I am going through my texts: Which read: "Hey, wyd, " I decided to call him. This call would change my grandmothers life, and none of us knew it. He and I laughed about how we planned a surprise proposal for one of our beloved church members tomarrow. I immedietly became so excited, that I had to share the news. I call my grandmother and learned quickly, when I picked up, it got her up, and I can hear her voice on the other end of the line. "Its burning its burning its burning" - The phone went silent. I took a breath and called her back, expecting maybe her phone was charged for too long, and what I heard when I called her back brought me immediete chills. A fire alarm, and her frantic voice. "WHERES THE FIRE WHERES THE FIRE?!" My instincts kicked in. I started talking to her in a calming voice and soothing as I can, asking her to get to her wheelchair. She couldnt reach her emergency button. Carefully, I got details and asked her to slowly make her way safely to a hallway. She pressed her button multiple times when she found it, and no help came. The hallways were empty. "91`1- What is the address of your emergency?" I was calm and straightforward, my brain in overdrive. The fire department was already getting in the truck. God blessed every one of them I found myself stomping around the room pacing and throwing myself about, praising God, until my hands were numb and praising outloud, not caring if my roomate heard. Let him hear. Let him join me kind of thing. I was shaking and praising and praying for everyone. . I called my grandma back, and what I heard on the other line, took self control most people cannot handle: Someone yelling at her, screaming at her, and talking down to her that "How dare you call 911, now we are going to get charged/its all your fault, there is no alarm, how dare you" etc. As it worsened, The phone cut off again. Just as the fire team arrived, a officer backing them up. The prayers didn't stop, and as I was praying deeper for forgiveness and compassion, I called again.This is when the lieutenant rush in. I managed to have my grandma pass the phone to them, and the fire team, full gear, rushed in the room, to verify the situation. who then hung up again, but this time I waited to call back. It turned out it was a heater malfunction. The whole room smelled thick of burnt toast/burnt popcorn, and the team verified the situation was safe. If my friend and I from church did not call her at that EXACT SECOND, then my grandmother would have not been awake knowing what to do, and calling 911. (she said that she was happy I "did what was supposed to be done" ) but I guess the panic didn't make her think about calling. We were able to get the team out there and get her the help she needed for moments to spare. We called my grandma back, and she settled down in her still-smelling room, (But intact, and alive!) and I met with my friend in person and we praised God together in celebration, for my grandmothers life saved. We were joyfully celebrating, and I immediately contacted my pastors, my grandmother verified safe, and all of us celebrating God's timing. My grandmother is protected, those who wronged her forgiven, celebrating with my friends, pastors praising God, and my grandma laughing and smiling, and my brother wondering if God actually truly exists now because of divine timing. ......WOW. Praise God. #prayer #thanks #praise #celebration #GodsTiming

https://youtu.be/HdzKxsP3Uek

I know I been posting some pretty heavy things as of late, so here is from my grandmother's birthday party (81 years) We didn't think she would make it that far, but God had other plans. From Left to Right: Brandon Howard, Stephen Howard, Barbara Howard.

When you're at a celebration of life, and the family walks in, there are certain things you see that is very difficult. But it is always a blessing. Thank you God for letting us be part of your journey that you have provided. Thank you for letting us have the knowing that his family is loved. That you gathering the family up above for them, that you are comforting those that hurt. Thank you God, you are our comforter.

This is a very difficult video to watch, but Impact Video Ministries has always been clear to me and helping me learn about scriptures, and harder topics, but one topic that always surprised me that if God loves the world so much that he gave his son, and is a loving and caring God, why does he let certain trials, certain pain, major loss, why does he let that happen? The answer, was very surprising, so I share the very video that helped me learn that. Hope it can help someone here. (It goes in perspective of multiple emotion standpoints!)

Am having a "Celebration of Life" today, and really had to sit back and think "Wow, we GET to be part of someone's final moments with the family. How much of a blessing is that? That we are allowed to spend some of those deepest moments with them, and to be able to take a moment and thank God for all the times that they had on earth, followed by celebrating knowing that they are in the greatest place that anyone could ever want? That God took them above, smile and all, to share that smile with loved ones that he too lost. That he can have the biggest joy of all, knowing he can spend eternity with the father in heaven who created him? And we get to witness pain and chains being broken off of the family, and people actively seeking that confidence that he went to the right place. And you know? I know he did.

Also, praising God this morning through some trials, but I got the news that prayers for my grandmother were answered, and she is feeling much better after some very serious sickness for a few days. What report will you listen to? I listen to the report of the Lord!

To be honest, having a social media that is not filled with ads, or fake profiles is a good idea, but to have it focused on the love of God? ...Even better! So thankful to have a church-focused way to be able to communicate and post the love of God without fear, might have to tell our whole church about this!