Hello everyone, I have not posted in quite some time, I just wanted to give an update. I have been doing great, I am growing closer to God, trying to spend time in the word, and in prayer. I upload videos on YouTube every once in a while. If you have time , go check them out, and subscribe. I upload when I feel like God is urging me to, I still have not seen my son in over a year since he ran away, however I trust Gods process, and his plan. I’m not bitter, I love God and I love people, that is why i try to get his message out there, have an amazing God loves you, and so do I.

I don’t want to bore you with my pathetic life story or whatever, I’m not posting for people to feel sorry for me, I just need some prayers, hurting bad

I just wanted to make a declaration this morning, I am in a place in my life that is really low. As hard as it is for me, to press in, today I am declaring that I am done running away from God, I can’t do this without him. As much as I believe I don’t deserve him, and feel like he won’t love me, because of how horrible of a person I am, I’m going to try, and just see if it’s worth it. I just hope it’s not too late, I hope he will still accept me back, I don’t want to go to hell. Sorry for the rant, I’m just in a place of deep deep hurt.

I have been gone from here and running from God for awhile now, I’m hurting bad. Some of you know, most probably don’t, but my son ran away last year right before his 18 birthday. We chose not to search for him, because he was about to turn 18, and he asked us not to. That was our choice, we didn’t agree with him choosing to be trans, that is why he ran away. He said we were horrible parents, and that we didn’t understand, he also said many other hurtful things. We don’t know if he is alive or not, we don’t even know where he is residing. I blame myself, most days I’m ok, but today, I’m not, I’m having a really rough time. I feel like I’m not only a failure as a parent, but a failure in general. I have been hiding from God, and feel like I don’t deserve his love, i feel like he is judging me for being such a bad person. I could never be good enough for him, that is why I haven’t spent time with him. I post this out of extreme sadness and hurt, please pray for me, if there is even any hope at all.

Well the verse of the day on here really hits home, having a hard day, really missing my boy. I am just so sad today, please pray for me and my wife, it’s been since June that my boy ran away, but it is still very hard to deal with.

Really having hard day, missing my boy, it’s so hard to see a video online showcasing parent and child together. For those that don’t know, my son ran away from home , he is almost 18. My heart is so broken

Having a hard day today, I would give anything to hug my boy again

I had to write a letter to my son, but not mail it for my healing process, I wrote it this morning, that was very hard to do. I highlighted all the areas I went wrong as a father, and in the letter I apologized for failing him. Some day, if I ever see him again, I would like to read this to him. Now I know I need to move on with my life, and make myself a better person.

Really missing my son today, for those that don’t know, my son ran away from home. He will be 18 in October, however, he left a very nasty note to his mother and I saying how horrible we were. He also has decided that God made a mistake, and he wants to be a girl. Having a really hard time, it’s keeping me up at night.

Today is my 7th year wedding anniversary, It is amazing how fast time goes by, I absolutely love this woman, and look forward to many more years of happiness.

I have been working on this for the last week, for my grandson for his birthday. I have made the lock out of wood, the latch for the lock, and the wooden keys, as well as the chest itself. as well as the key chain. I covered everything in epoxy, and put the blue fabric inside as well.

Today is the day, in about a half hour, I go tell my work I am quitting, and then i officially start my new job as well. I am super nervous, I just want to be abl to say the right words

I am feeling nervous today, tomorrow, I am quitting one job and starting a new one, the one I’m quitting is for one a hostile work environment, and extremely physical. The one I’m taking is a tour bus driver job, which I love to drive, just nervous.