I have been gone from here and running from God for awhile now, I’m hurting bad. Some of you know, most probably don’t, but my son ran away last year right before his 18 birthday. We chose not to search for him, because he was about to turn 18, and he asked us not to. That was our choice, we didn’t agree with him choosing to be trans, that is why he ran away. He said we were horrible parents, and that we didn’t understand, he also said many other hurtful things. We don’t know if he is alive or not, we don’t even know where he is residing. I blame myself, most days I’m ok, but today, I’m not, I’m having a really rough time. I feel like I’m not only a failure as a parent, but a failure in general. I have been hiding from God, and feel like I don’t deserve his love, i feel like he is judging me for being such a bad person. I could never be good enough for him, that is why I haven’t spent time with him. I post this out of extreme sadness and hurt, please pray for me, if there is even any hope at all.