I feel exhausted — mentally and emotionally.
I can’t think straight or rationally, and it’s not just because of recent incidents.

I personally believe I’ve tried hard in life — for my family, for myself, and for others too.
But somehow, things always, or often, go wrong for me.

Why does it keep happening? Why, even after trying so much, do I end up here — questioning myself, questioning life?

I feel heavy and empty.
I feel stuck and alone.
There is this loneliness I do not know how to handle.

It feels like something is missing, though I cannot name it.
I do not know what I want.
I do not have the urge or motivation to do anything.

It feels like I am stuck in the middle of the road,
not knowing which direction to go.
I just stare at the traffic light blinking.
I just want to disappear.

My head is troubled.
I cannot think straight.
I feel out of breath and tired.

My heart races.
I feel restless, as if I ran a marathon.
I do not know how to control this feeling.
It troubles me from within.

I am caught between silence and noise.
Between wanting to move and being unable to.
I am here, yet I feel absent.
I am alive, yet I feel hollow.

- #WhatIsAChurch- #FaithAndCommunity - #BeyondTheWalls - #ChurchIsPeople - #SpiritualReflection - #LivingFaith

Why can't I type my own words for comment on someone post #Lordsbook

Faith & Transformation
- #TransformedLife
- #LiveTheChange
- #FaithInAction
- #BeyondTradition
- #ChristInMe
- #DailyRenewal

Challenge & Reflection
- #HasItChangedUs
- #SpiritualAwakening
- #ChallengeForChange
- #LiveTheMessage
- #HeartTransformation

Hope & Resurrection
- #JesusLives
- #ResurrectionPower
- #NewBeginnings
- #BornToTransform

I find it deeply troubling to witness financial dishonesty within certain missionary and ministerial circles in India. Too often, I see leaders exaggerating their work or misrepresenting realities in order to manipulate people into giving. While some pastors and leaders prosper—living in comfort, sending their children to expensive schools, driving cars, enjoying vacations, and residing in air-conditioned homes—the workers who labor faithfully in the field often struggle to afford even a decent meal.

This disparity grieves me. Years ago, I left the mission field because I wanted no part in such practices and chose instead to earn my own living. Yet, after 15 years, God has brought me back. Now I face the same challenge: I see the injustice, but I don’t know how to address it without sounding like I’m complaining or envious. Some might dismiss my concerns as jealousy, which only adds to my frustration. At the same time, I personally struggle to ask for financial support, even though I know it is necessary.