Feeling very anxious today, I have been reflecting on my past. A little back story, my son told us he was trans 2 years ago, we told him we do not support that decision. He was just about to graduate H.S. at the time, in the middle of the night, he ran away, we haven’t seen or heard from him since. I’m feeling like a complete failure, I know that I lost my temper with him while he was growing up, I failed as a father. I just recently got saved, last year when Charlie Kirk got killed, I feel like some of the reason I was not a good father was because I was unsaved. Even so I failed as a father, and I feel I have failed as a human in Gods eyes. I’m confused as to why God doesn’t just take me out, why keep me around? He is clear that if you are mean to children he takes that seriously, so why keep me around? I failed him completely