It has been nearly three years since my wife Tena passed away, It took me almost 2 yrs before I could function again. After 30 years of us learning to become one, she was much more than just my better half. During my time of mourning I re-examined my faith, part of me wanted to be done with my relationship with my Lord and my God, but the rest of me remembered how faithful the Lord had been to me / us, and even though I could not feel His presence, I'm pretty sure I didn't want too at that point,
I believe He was near, patiently gently drawing me to him, I did not run from him, I slowly began to
seek Him. Since then the Lord has filled the holes in my heart and my life, my love for Tena has not grown less, I know she is still in my heart and in my mind she is still my wife, we are just separated by death temporarily. The Lord has rooted our adult son and I in the community and the local church, we are quite active. The Lord has also tasked me to finish a book I had begun writing in 2013, I believe it was prompted and story was given to me by the Lord, I have finished it, it became a trilogy and those who have read it say the enjoy it, and are blessed it. Also a regular series of stories has spun of from the book.
Though it was a devastating time in my life, and it called all my beliefs and convictions into question, I am glad I did not turn my back on the Lord, and just as glad He didn't turn His back on me, there were times I didn't speak very nice to him.