Being a Christian man in society can be so draining. And much of this stress can come from other Christians.

Today at work (on a break) I was listening to a podcast on YouTube. It featured an Orthodox priest discussing the need for brotherhood amongst Christian men. I agreed with much of what he was saying. However, he mentioned that men are supposed to bond together over an activity (preferably laborious) and not supposed to be sitting around, just talking and sharing feelings, because this is supposedly “effeminate.”

SERIOUSLY???

So guys are not allowed to sit and converse with one another? Nor talk about what’s on our heart unless we’re building a fence or laying concrete? WHO came up with these arbitrary rules on manhood?? No, I do not support effeminacy, as God condemns it. But the priest didn’t even give a clear definition of the word and he doesn’t seem to realize that all men aren’t the same and we (as humans) are complex.

I guess this is probably why I had such a hard time with male friendships in my teens and early twenties. I don’t necessarily adhere to several characteristics of “manhood” that our culture has established, such as enjoying sports. I’m almost 40, single with no kids so obviously no “fruitful and multiplying.” I feel like everything we do as men is scrutinized by both the religious and secular worlds. It’s EXHAUSTING! Sometimes I wish I could practice Christianity alone. Because people really make this spiritual journey difficult.