i am going through a very difficult time which i know no man can help, only God. I have been a Christian since October of 1995. I live in my home country Zimbabwe. I used to be a business owner with a hardware business. since 2000 but I closed my doors in 2013. life has never been the same. I began a ministry in 2005 which grew very well but my financial life was a wreck. I never took or received any payments from the church but paid most of the needs for the church. I had to do an electrical engineering course just to get the fantamentals and recently registered a new business of electrical work. solar installations and borehole instalations. even with all this skill I have not gotten any significant contracts. while my financial position is such a mess, the church is going down too. we are losing members inexplicably. i am 53yrs of age now and supposed to be getting prepared for retirement but I have nothing to show or nowhere to retire to. meanwhile all this is happening my marriage is constantly on the rocks and im barely managing. i have bee pushed in a corner so hard that early this year, if it was not God I could have taken my life. At church we are blessed with a piece of land but our church finances can not permit any construction therefore we are still using a temporary structure with no concrete floor but dirt floor. i have asked myself if I was truly called for ministry because the years to enjoy life and ministry seem to be fading away. i have been in depression at least for 2yrs. i had some side pains in 2020 and was wrongly diagnosed with kidney problems and had to undergo a major kidney surgery in 2022 which took every saving we had and left me more of a weakling and only found out this year 2026 that it was a wrong diagnosis because all the pains came back and no machine or testing can tell me what is wrong with me. I am 53 but dont even have a house for my children but just piece of land that I can not afford to build on. the sory of my life is so painful for a man of God. my prayer now is just that I do not lose my faith at the last hour and miss to be with Jesus for eternity. i do believe someone here is going to make a prayer than will change the narrative of my life story. please pray for me